Monday, March 19, 2012

Boondock Saint smell like awesome sexy irish dudes... but like, clean and stuff.

How goes it monkey Butts :)

OHWTO & Darling Clandestine Have teamed up to put a Boondock Saints shaped hole in your wallet with two amazeballs stinks!

On our left we have...

"Veritas, the left hand to Aequitas' right, is a green chypre scent, though the perfume itself is a cloudy whiskey gold. This perfume was meant to evoke the imagery from the Boondock Saints, and with that in mind I set out to gather components that would do just that. The notes used are almost too many to list, but include a quartet of sensual musks, church incense, white funerary freesia and lilies, shamrock clover, men's aftershave, bourbon vanilla, gun oil, Irish whiskey, smoke, worn leather, and tobacco absolute. So as not to leave anyone out, this scent is perfectly unisex, though as with any perfume oil, your skin may "amp" up certain notes more than others, so your mileage may vary. This perfume oil may settle out over time; if this happens, just give your bottle a gentle shake to mix everything back up before applying."

Buy it here!

And then we have to our Right...

"Yes. It's a fragrance inspired by the Boondock Saints. Smoke and blood and whiskey and damp alleys and leather and steel and gunpowder and sweat and denim and sweet wooden rosary beads and a bit of clover struggling up through concrete cracks. It is unisex and so, so, so sexy.
Aequitas contains highly concentrated German chamomile, so it's got a bit o' the green. And since it also contains real whiskey, the dark resins and lovely green oil-bubbles tend to separate and settle at the bottom. Just give the bottle a shake, and the perfume turns the color of a luna moth. :)"

And you can buy this one here!

When you buy one of these that seller will send you a coupon code for 10% off of the other!! So go get them! Nao! RITE NAO!

I've only been able to smell Aequitas so far- but Full sizes are on their way to my house as we speak and then I'll attack you with my opinions on stuff that I smell like. :/ Or something. Anyway! These also come with a DEAL!

These are going to look really great on my stink oil shelf too BONUS.

SO go check them out!!


Disclaimer thing: The sample that I have of Aequitas came with an order I made from DC so I'm not getting anything for free - these just really appeal to me and so do the shops mentioned. In short (too late) I'm not being sponcered or anything.... that would be a huge waste of money with my subscriber count and the fact that I keep forgetting about this blog HA! Cheers!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Darling Clandestine...SALE!!!! 50% off

Hello again.
I just wanted to pop in and tell you about the sale That is going on ... right now! Here's what it's all about from the Stinky lady herself!

"So, lovelies. My baby brother---who inspired the formula for Step Right Up---is getting married. I'd like to make a generous gift to him and his beautiful bride. To do that, I need to have a srsly sale. Like, say, 50% off anything? Through Saturday, using the code TRUELOVE. Only thing is, I can't announce it on the DarlingClandestine FB page because my brother's a fan and he'll know what's up. Any assistance in spreading the word anywhere *but* my page is HIGHLY appreciated! Here's the shop, and the code is active NAO! Go, my pretties!"

SQUEE. Spread the word... it's only a secret to two people so as long as you steer clear of the Facebook Fanpage you are encouraged to sing it from the roof tops!

Here's the link to the shop... That code again, TRUELOVE. Get to going! And tell me what you pick up!!


(all pictures used for this post are belong to darlingclandestine :D)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

OHWTO Halloween/fall scents!

From our friends at One Hand Washes The Other.... Halloween Stinks! Okay, you can call them Fall Scents... but Halloween Stinks just falls out of my mouth so much better. These were announced on Sunday so I thought I'd link you over and review one of the upcoming smellies! Okay, I've giving you a detailed account of one... but bragging up two others: one that I got last year and used up HELLA fast. And the other I got as a sample, loved...and then it was stolen by my nephew because it smelled so good. On with it!

Listing information taken from
"It's been a long time coming, and rather than keep everyone waiting for a giant "all at once" release I'm just gonna start rolling these babies out as product is made. In keeping with the aforementioned changes to the shop, products will only be available as they are made so that I can get your orders packed and shipped out to you in a timely manner. Any scent not currently on the "Stock Fragrance" or "Private Stock" list is NOT available for adding to the "choose your own scent" products. Stock may run out but I will be restocking as fast as I can when that happens ;)"

They have TONS! of new scents and a couple from last year because she loves me and knows that I need to replenish my pumpkin stink - or because they sold really well. Probably that last one. But for the purposes of self importance I'm going to consider it a personal favor from a fan. It's a secret fan club... with no members... that I fill with people I pretend would be a fan if they were so inclined to ummm... be. I'm sorry you had to read that.

Point: Check out the site for a lot more scents than I'm going to post here! Now on to the review of **drum roll **

Pumpkin Bread!
Described as: "One of my favorite things about fall is all the pumpkin-based baked goods I get to make. This smells like (almost) all of them, rolled up into one deliciously food-y fragrance! You'll smell Pumpkin, of course, along with Carrot, Clove, Nut, Rum, Bread, Butter and Malt notes; it's enough to make your mouth water!"

Not wrong! In any way. This is the "omg yum" pumpkin smell you get from candles and home scents- that spicey foody magical smell that really gets you in the mood for fall. The only reason that this isn't totally gone is because I lost it for a month last year. There is a dent- but not the dent that could be... the dent in my other pumpkin scent solid killed it!
Spicy, pumpkiny, buttery, crusty, foody awesomeness. With enough spice to make all the sweet not overly sweet. YUM! The clove is a background note so even if you don't like clove- you'll love this. This is just crazy good.

The one I killed : ChocoPumpkin
" this is an awesome pumpkin spice and cocoa scent, which smells like a slice of pumpkin pie dipped in chocolate! Of all my Halloween fragrances, this one is probably the "spiciest" in terms of cinnamon and clove notes, but the mellow cocoa balances them out perfectly so that they're not overbearing. Think "Pumpkin Truffle" and you'll have a pretty good idea of what this one smells like"

Real cocoa scent... not the lipgloss sort of chocolate scent. And crazy YUM OMGYUM pumpkin. I wish I still had this to really break it down. The cinnamon I remember and the cocoa and pumpkin- It is so good. I wore it and it helped me lose weight... because I just wanted to eat my arm. Just sniffed myself thinner- until Christmas- where I again got fat. ^5 for being a fatty! *jiggles* That's right! I eat my food and taste it too! TAKE IT ALL KATE MOSS! hahaha anyway... yeah. Good stuff.

The STOLEN! Pumpkin Eater
" No, it's got nothing to do with that movie from the 60's... it's more to do with a story. As long as anyone can remember, the tale's been told, every Halloween night one can go up to old Peter's house, past the cemetery and up the hill, through the pumpkin field and the wood just past it, and catch a glimpse of his ghost if you bring him an offering of a pumpkin. Surrounded by pumpkin fragments, they say he can be seen sitting where his body had been found years before, still consuming the flesh of pumpkin after pumpkin, as though he'd never left. This fragrance smells of mangled pumpkin flesh, tilled earth, and a dash of spiced cider, haunted by an apparition of patchouli"

I really hate Patchouli. I do. I hate it and it hates me. But this was really nice- I even *gasp* WORE IT! I know. But it just smells really good. I remember raw pumpkin and some spice and patchouli. If you like any of those scents- you NEED this. It was really unique and I guess it was also unisex because my nephew used the entire solid sample up. By the time he wanted me to get him more - it was gone. Maybe he'll get it this year... Maybe not. Because there are things I want to try!!

Stuff I just plain need in my life:

Burning Times
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"; motivated by fear, or some would say, by greed, the execution of a witch nearly always included the burning of her body, though the method of dispatch may have varied. Vanilla, Clove, Patchouli, Pink Peppercorn, a hint of Suede, Red Musk, Sandalwood, Cinnamon, Cedarwood, and the smoldering Embers of a thousand years."

Dammit Patchouli! Curse yous! But I still wanna try it out.

" Infectious! The virus responsible for all instances of zombie outbreaks, solanum has a 100% fatality rate, and yet somehow the undead never seem to stink too terribly. The toxicity level of undead flesh slows down the process of decomposition, killing most bacterium foolish enough to try to decompose a zombie. All studies thus far have shown an absence of bacteria in the flesh of the undead. This has the interesting side effect of giving most zombies little offensive smell other than slight flesh decay, due to the absence of the bacteria responsible for body odor and the traditional smell of rotting flesh. Rotting pumpkin, Apple cores, Raspberry, Almond, Madagascar Vanilla, Cardamom, and a hint of Immortelle because zombies never die."

Muthafuckin zombies n'shiit. hahaha Sorry about that. It sounds magical and delish.

Hungry Ghost
" In Taoism, Hungry Ghosts are ghosts of people who did not find everything they need to survive in the after life. If a person passes on, but does not have enough food, water, shelter, etc., it will come back into the world of the living to feed on the living. They will scare you, and then they will feed on your energy and fear. You get rid of these Hungry Ghosts by performing a ritual; pray or chant and offer food and other things to the Hungry Ghosts, so they will have what they need to survive and move on to their next life. Steaming-hot Green Tea, Lively Lemongrass, and Cardamom, with Peppermint providing a wisp of otherworldly chill."

For all my ghost hunting needs!

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
" A creepy multimedia fragrance experience, see this video; sweet baby sweet baby sweet baby. Acorns, Oak, Vanilla, Apples, Roasted Spiced Pumpkin, a bit of Musk and a mound of freshly-dug Dirt. Sort of disturbing!"

I'm not linking the video here- you have to go to her blog and watch it. I am in love with this on levels and I've not even been able to smell it yet hahahaha

There are more- but I've already taken too much of your time. The prices are super great- Solid Scents are 4.00usd and perfume oils run around 9.00usd for a 5ml bottle. Shipping is not butt invasion. No reason not to have already made an order by the end of this blog. So go! Check you the blog and the Site and check back often for new things being added. She'll also be adding Snake Oil and all kinds of awesome to the place- STALK THEM!
Have a good one, and tell me what you got! I want to hear about all the yum I have yet to discover from OHWTO! Questions, as always- are welcome and enjoyed!


Noteworthy post script: I bought everything myself. Everything I say is all me. If something is bad I don't have a problem letting you know about it. That sort of information is as useful, if not more so to me when I'm "blog testing" any company, as the good stuff is - Dishonesty is a waste of both our time. Thanks again.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Morbid the Merrier: Halloween scents!

Coffee? Check! Sniffer? Check! Bag of goodies from The Morbid The Merrier? CHECK! Lets get to sniffing!

I got four of the five Halloween scents to try out and they are ... fantastic. it was my first order with TMTM so I got these and two other samples to try out and see if I could get the scent personality of the company. I feel like I got a good selection and have a good idea of what i can expect from them. An interesting mix of scents mixed so that they melt into fragrances, as apposed to a couple of scents in a vial that all sort of hang out next to each other and wave at you happily. I enjoy both sorts of blends. These are the former... and I guess the ladder too at first. Double bonus happy score.

" A wreath of funeral flowers, leather seats, vetiver, and mahogany."

In the vial
Dark. Really dark. I don't really pick up the floral... but everything else is there in the first sniff. Like the inside os a stage coatch at night. Dark.

First applied
Aged mens cologne, sort of faded. Mahogany... and something else....*sniffing* The leather is there- it smells a little dusty maybe- it paint a picture in my head which is great. I love that.

Dry down
It's not as dark now as it was in the vial, still dark, but not as dark and not at all bitter- but not really sweet either. Old boots on a wood block about to be shined. I'm not really getting any floral at all. But the element that lends to the sweet- but not at all sweet smell I don't know what that is. I need help here. I don't know what Vetier smells like so lets say it's that. If you know please let me know in the comments and I'll add it to the description.

Final thoughts
Completely middle of the road, a dark road- when it comes to who I think could wear this. It's really great. And like I said, it paints an ominous picture for me- I LOVE that. It smells really nice and on me at least, feels like the scent gets warmer the longer I wear it. I was really excited for this one because of it's name sake and I still am. Not at all disappointed.

Quoth the Raven
"Fruit orchards, a sharp spike of clove, and the remnants of chimney smoke on dirty wings."

In the vial
It smells sort of softly fruity. Like an old fruity perfume passed it's prime- but not rotten either. If this was the final smell it would be in heavy rotation. Very pretty.

First applied
It almost smells like a cardinal cherry for a monent before the dirt chimes in and shakes hands with the fruit... then you start to smell it, creeping in on you... clove.

Dry Down
Clove steps out in front a couple minutes in and reminds me I need to pick up some more clove gum. It steps back a bit when all the scents start to really marry - the dirt and soot scents mix with the fruit and the clove is, for a few minutes, the head of the pack- then it becomes a sweet spicy note in a very old worldly sort of smell. Like a light perfume in a dusty alley in london somewhere in the 1800s.

Final thoughts
As awesome as the descriptions sounds... is how great this scent is! I can't even tell you how much I love this scent. It's the sort of smell you can let your mind wonder while wearing. On me it seems to Drift up and down over and over. I will say this, if you are not a clove fan- I'd skip it. The clove is a big part of this scent. I love clove and dirt and soot and fruit and ahhhh how much do I love this scent. Too much.

Little drop of poison
"Dragon's blood, plump dark berries and red wine barely conceal a rich, resinous and very poisonous base."

In the vial
It almost smells like a perfumed bit of antiseptic, not in a "get it away!" sort of way, more that it has an intense Dragons blood & resin scent -but a sort of cool scent at the same time.

First applied
At first all I really smell is the dragons blood, but after a few minutes the wine comes up and slowly get stronger and stronger. Not overwhelming mind you, but it's there and it's clearly wine. The resin and the dragons blood kind of fade a touch into a more wearable smell- aka no longer smells like a freshly cleaned wound to my nose.

Dry down
The wine comes down with the other notes, it's vary warm now and it still has really great throw. Maybe the best out of all of them. It's Dragons blood for the most part now I think. The scent remains very clear the entire time I wear it.

Final thoughts
It's a dragons blood scent without smelling like a dirty hippie in a head shop. The berries never really showed up to the party, though the wine did come and she danced on the tables and flashed her huge pendulous breasts. Good times. I can see myself wearing this when the mood hits me- when it's very cold and I need a warm boost of something to cling to. It's what pretty, clean hippies in the fall should smell like. I hope thats not too off putting to the dirty hippies. The throw on this lasted for HOURS! it's close to the skin - but not so much that people couldn't smell me from across an isle at the Walgreens. So that happened.

"Church incense, candle wax, and red animalistic musk"

In the vial
Sort of a sweet smoke scent. Not food sweet, more like tobacco sweet- Right off it smells like a men's scent on the sweet side. And there is something that hits the back of my nose- like a cooling like menthol- in a completely good way.

First applied
That cooling scent gets a little more intense and the sweet dies down considerably Almost as soon as it hits my skin. It starts to blend into one scent on me very quickly, all the notes being so evenly balanced it sort of becomes a new smell in that the notes hold each other up instead of compete.

Dry down
It smells like warm clean fresh man neck. I know. I'm a freak. But that is exactly what it smells like to me. What a really hot guy smells like after a steamy shower. Just a hint of clean warm spice. The sweet scent did come back a bit more about twenty minutes after I put it on- but it's sort of comes and goes on me.

Final thoughts
I love this. There was no hint for me in the description of the scent that I would even sort of care for it- but it's really nice. I would say it leans more male- but honestly, on the right woman it would be magical too. I get scared when the word "musk" enters a description- but this is a perfect sort of blend. I notice a hint of musk, but not until I went and read the description again. It's not a "wholly shit straight musk in my face" musk. It's not musk with some other scents tossed in- it's the opposite. And the blend is really lovely.

Overall impression
I need to get "we all float down here" and a couple full sizes of the scents I tried. I really love these. That staying power varied for my a bit- from 5+ hours to around 2 hours- but even the two hour one still left my skin scented- just not what I would call perfumed. More like the level a perfumed soap leaves after a shower. Just a nice sort of tint of scent- if that makes sense at all. The prices are great, 12.00usd for full size and three sample sets = 7.00usd for 3 samples, 12.00usd for 5 samples, or 23.00usd for 10 samples. Shipping is great. Seller has FANTASTIC handwriting. I'm already plotting my next order.

If you have any suggestions for scents I just plain HAVE to try let me know! What have you tried and loved?I'd love to know! And if you have any comments...leave um! I'll do what I can to give you the answers you crrrave.


Noteworthy post script: I bought everything myself. Everything I say is all me. If something is bad I don't have a problem letting you know about it. That sort of information is as useful, if not more so to me when I'm "blog testing" any company, as the good stuff is - Dishonesty is a waste of both our time. Thanks again.

All images without my watermark were taken from The Morbid The Merrier... that means all but the first picture.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Poison Apple Apothecary Review (and a SALE!)

I ordered from Poison Apple Apothecary way back in March. These are what gave me the idea to do a stink blog in the first place! I got them and procrastinated myself into forgetting all about them- review wise anyway. I've been wearing them on and off when the mood hits me and now I think I'm ready to tell you what I think of them! So without further blatherings and brain farts...Lets get to the sniffin!
photo property of poison apple apothecary

Lady Victoria
"An embodiment of the Victorian Gothic era. A lady in all outward appearances, but there may be something darker lurking underneath…. Jasmine and Vanilla laid gently upon an enigmatic veil of musk."

This to me smells like a light clean smell- like a warm clean ladylike soap. The musk in this isn't dark or particularly musky. It smells like a sweet, clean, floral. As it warms on my skin it smells like a lady. Not old. Not super sweet. No ozone sort of smell. Just really lovely. Completely wearable all year long. On me, it stays pretty close to the skin. The florals slowly deepen and develop without becoming overwhelming or elderly. I think I'd call it a feminine floral for people who don't think they like feminine florals. I really love this one.

Pumpkin coach
"Inspired by the tale of Cinderella. The lovely maiden's fairy godmother picked a pumpkin from the patch and with a wave of her wand transformed it into a majestic coach to whisk Cinderella away to the royal ball. This is the scent of the magical pumpkin racing through the woods over crackling autumn leaves seconds before the spell breaks at midnight."

I was the most excited about this one when I ordered. First off- right out of the vial I smell pie crust. A few seconds in the pumpkin smell starts to come in. What I smell more than anything is pie crust. Secondary notes are butter and pumpkin. But not so foody that it's off putting. Mild and warm. Nothing wrong with that. Not a lot of staying power. Also stays close to my skin.

White Rabbit
"The perfume inspired by the White Rabbit begins to evoke an ardent sense of restlessness but dries down to a smooth composed blend. This perfume is sweet and creamy with notes of White Chocolate, Sassafras, Caramel, and Cognac."

Fudge, I smell generic sort of fudge smell. Warming up the smell gets a little stronger. Tiny bit of caramel and cognac... very slight. As it settles a bit more you get where the white chocolate comes in... a mild sort of floral- insanely light. When it dries down it becomes a super light, kinda generic chocolate smell. That's kinda it. I expected a little more from this one- but it smells nice. Faint and close to the skin. Nearly zero staying power though. Almost gone before the dry down is even complete. Bummer.

"Named for the Gilded Age which took place in the United States during the Victorian Era. After the Civil War the population boomed and the country found celebrity in the extravagantly wealthy. This perfume is the scent of pure optimism and hope for things to come- sunny lemon, a touch of verbena, and a pinch of sugar."

Best effing smell ever. Smells a little like lemon pledge out of the vial. Then a strong sort of sour lemon candy scent hits...Morphing into a full on YUM lemon sugar cookie. I could shit myself with how much I love this scent. It remains sort of bitter which, to me, makes for a cleaner sort of cookie smell- The lemon scent never gets lost in this perfume- which is probably what I love about it. If I had this in a lotion I would slather it on every time I started to feel bleh. Again, wears close to the skin. Stays a little longer than some of these but not long enough in my opinion... because I LOVE it.

These scents I could no longer find in the store or on any scent lists. I am still going to toss them to you in the event you run into them on the nets for swap/trade or on ebay.

Town Lush.
This is no longer on her list of scents. Which is really sad. This is gorgeous. It's wine and something sort of herbally/minty - uuuugh I wanted a full size of this. Maybe I can look around the nets for it. It's smells really lovely. I am kicking myself for waiting so long to do a write up on these.

Apothecary Apple

Another bummer. Clean soap and warm apple. Smells so good- I can't even. It's just magical. I'm puzzled as to why this one didn't make it. The only thing I can think is that she could no longer get her hands on the scent. Fresh and lovey.

A little product info.
These are her own blends and the carrier oil used is listed as Jojoba Oil.
The perfume oils come in three sizes:
10ml 24.00usd- 5ml 13.00usd- 1ml sample vial 1.95usd
She also sells sample sets which is what I picked up. Six samples of your choice to They also sell lotions and scrubs, but because I didn't try any of them... I'm sticking to talking about the oils.

So what is my overall impression of Poison Apple Apothecary?
I really like it. It all smells really nice. None of the scents rely too heavily on basic musks and filler scents. The lasting power is at best two to three hours. At worst, between ten and thirty minutes. That kinda blows. That said, the staying power for perfume oils can differ from person to person based on your personal body chemistry. The usual time I've had with most of the perfume oils I've tried has been around two to four hours. The throw on these was not the best. I can smell my skin while I sit here typing this... but someone next to me would catch maybe a very subtle whif in the air if anything at all. I'm imagine that if you used the lotion and the perfume oil you could get a little more staying power and throw. Layering never hurt anyone.

Would I buy from them again?
I think so. I really like Gilded and Victorian Lady. I may give them a try in full size or the lotion. Based on the Customer Service alone I'd buy from them again. When I ordered (forever ago) she was about to go on a trip out of state and she sent me constant updates on what was going on- and messaged me personally when the items had been shipped. I don't know her. She didn't owe me that kinda of service- it's just how she runs her business. I was incredibly impressed by that.

Good news! They just opened a free standing site of their own! And it's the grand opening so they're on SALE! "For our grand opening please use code 5OFF20 to receive $5 off your entire order of $20 or more!" Click here to go to their awesome sauce site and pick up a few things to try out!

If you do pick anything up let me know what you've got and what you think of it. I am always looking for mew scents to give a try.

Disclaimer: I bought everything myself. I don't get anything for sending you there or any of that crap. Just taking it upon myself to , as always- spread the love. Cheers. Aslo, all photos used for this post where borrowed from the PAA web site, and are their property.

Halloween @ the Morbid the Merrier


I being "it" means that I am alive and starting off this blog finally. Will I be showing you great shots of stink and describing them in great detail while shooting little annoying jokes in at you ? Nope. I'm going to start by Slutting a bit. That's right! Halloween stink is in the air. Right now at The Morbid The Merrier the air is thick with the stink of rotting awesomeness, in only the best of ways! There are four in the GEIST perfume line and five HALLOWEEN LIMITED EDITION scents... I'm going to go ahead and list the scents I am planning on giving a try and the rest I will wave you over to the store to check out! Now, the perfume comes in oil form and the GEIST scents also come in lip balms. Now that that is done, lets get to it! While all of these look really great (and I do actually mean that) these three really got up in my butt- forcing me to give it them a try. All of these are from the Halloween 2011 line:

Quoth the Raven

Described on the TMTM blog as "Fruit orchards, a sharp spike of clove, and the remnants of chimney smoke on dirty wings" There is nothing about it that doesn't make me need it.

Little Drop of Poison

"Dragon's blood, plump dark berries and red wine barely conceal a rich, resinous and very poisonous base." uuuugh yes. Okay, I'm in.

And last, and most important...


"A wreath of funeral flowers, leather seats, vetiver, and mahogany."

There are no words.

I may just pick up a sample of each of them. Which, if you'd like to do that 5 samples come to you for 12.00usd as well as other packs of 3 (7.00usd) and 10 (25.00usd) samples. A full size bottle (5ml) is also 12.00 usd. Shipping isn't a killer either- squee.

So check them out! And when I see new Halloween stinks come out I'll shoot you the info.

All photos on this post taken from The Morbid The Merrier.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Welcome all Stinkies.
I've been thinking about starting a smellie blog for a long time and today I woke up and decided that this is the day. What I'd like to do is smell for you. Good smalls. Bad smells. High end. Low end. Perfume. Perfume oils. bla bla bla you get the idea. Smells. I'll be pulling from my personal collection and picking up things along the way. We'll see how it goes. Come along with me and tell me how I'm doing. I can only get better right? /lies. Requests welcome. and etsy stores that you want me to try- let me know and I'll do my best to figure it all out and get it back to you. While you're at it, check out my other blog for makeup and whatnot. HERE :)

Thanks! More to come!